Who am I to complain about waiting I guess. Those times when I’m looking at you without much too much to say,  I’m saying thanks and giving thanks.  Thank you Lord for the gift of a wife.  You truly have set me on greener pastures.  Though I fail repeatedly. ..

You were holding onto my finger today as you slept in the car. It reminded me of all the things I don’t deserve. With a renewed hope that all of this could just be precautionary, I still realize nothing can prepare me. God has been good to me by providing me with you. I pray every day that you will be healed. I pray that our baby is fine. I guess we never ask for things to be easy, only that they be worth it.

I know we can pretend like nothing is going on. Today is Good Friday and I don’t know how to take what’s going on. There is supreme victory for Easter this Sunday. And I am sure that we will be strengthened by what we endure. I pray all day long as much as I can. I pray for your healing I pray for our baby. And I try my hardest to constantly give thanks.

I’m thankful to you Lord, for the gifts in my life. I ask today for the strength to be strong and meek. I know that I am the opposite of these – proud and weak. I know where I fall short – which is everywhere. I pray today for my wife again – that her faith in you would grow, and that you would totally heal her when medicine doesn’t know how. I pray that You would guide us, and that unwavering devotion comes without obstacles seemingly insurmountable.

Baby: it seems like so many of my thoughts are about and on you these days. It makes me cry, laugh, and get mad. All of this happens and still it makes no sense. I see you – who you are, who you want to be, and why I still strive to fall further in love with you. I see the little things in and about you – those things bring comfort. I know the confusion and unanswered questions you must have – those bring me pain. I feel the warmth you find in me – and that’s where it really hurts my heart.

I pray for you my wife. That your courage doesn’t fail you.  That as we go through life,  you won’t tire of me. I pray that I can grow into a better man – one more capable of living you purposely and properly. I hate calling place after place – GETTING NOWHERE.  I do it though.  I don’t care how long it takes.  I’ll just keep trying. As much as I’ve seen mushy love and the kind that makes people sick…The way I know it is to stand by your side – constantly trying to improve. I know love … The kind that hurts…I want you to be as sure as I am that you’ll have me as long as God gives me breath.