Ramblings of an Idiot

so here it is.. that reminder at 0630 to read over and over. grab those feelings, and stare straight into all that is wrong with the world. Knowing I need to have victory over the very things that are also necessary. I listened to a person speak of her eating disorder, and it was relatable to my life in that my work is her food, and that money is that necessary evil ????

it’s not money though… it’s the love of it – but why, how, etc.

those questions i can’t answer, but what i can say is that I can’t hate it the way we not supposed to love it. I can say that I need to get over shiny, new, and pristine. I get to compare the prayer requests: kids and adults. I don’t know of anybody who gets to read these as much as I do – but it’s eye opening. It’s revealing as to how we change – maturing but also changing. when there’s responsibility to provide, a duty to live, and possible resentment for that which could be seen as a blessing.

It becomes obvious to me why we need to be like children – but it’s also hard to.

is it the worry? is the b/c we’ve worried so they don’t have to? OR nothing at all? were we just unfaithful.